Call me old fashioned, but I will only buy toys for my child that are appropriate to their gender, and that gender is David Bowie. It doesn’t matter if they play with cars or dolls, as long as they are Bowie cars and Bowie dolls.

I mean, how will little Ziggy grow up to be a true Space Oddity without appropriate role models?

Sorry, Target. It’s great that you got rid of those antiquated signs for “Boys” and “Girls”, but I’m not stepping foot inside your store until you have a clearly labeled aisle for Bowie children.